Stillness of Heart

I find myself now in the part of the day where I have downtime. Where nothing is going on at all. I make  my feeble attempts to entertain myself with Facebook, movies, music, and random facts. But always during these moments, even back in the States, I come back to Self-inquiry. Questions arise: Where am I at? How am I feeling about all of this? Is this my path? Do I travel or do I settle in and teach? Am I going to succeed?

All of these questions, of course, are ego-generated. Survival mode issues. This is where I make the separation between what notions drag me down and lift me up. Reminding myself that I am here in Thailand for a reason--to learn more about who I really am and do more of what makes me happy. Making the distinction between being in a rut and a routine. Seeing the bountiful, beautiful world with a fresh pair of eyes every day. Not judging anyone or anything. All of these things I know. All of these things are in my proverbial toolbox, and at my disposal always. Watching myself shift in and out of all of these waves of thought and emotion is indeed a miracle. To be aware of all that is in my realm of consciousness.
When it's all said and done though, it's definitely nice to have your sweet Thai auntie make you the most scrumptious, warm yellow curry you've ever had, with that comforting side of rice and a young coconut to wash it all down (let's be real--I finished the coconut water before I got my food!). Presence. It's gonna be okay. Truth. Let it be.